When shit happens: the 24-Hour Rule
This simple rule is quite powerful: when something bad happens, give yourself twenty-four hours to cry, complain, bitch, moan, and vent — then let it go.
Whatever it takes for you to release negative emotions attached to the shitty situation you find yourself in, do it. Then a day later, release it. Pack it all into a helium balloon, let go of the string, and watch it float away.
For some of us, purging bad feelings entails telling our story (over and over) to any confidant who will listen. Some find relief by journaling or crafting raw and sometimes scathing (unsent) messages. Art is an outlet for those who can find a way to use discomfort to fuel creation — from fine art to performance art to culinary art. Some of us retreat to comfort food, on a comfortable couch, with a rom-com. Some of us drown our sorrows in a musical bouillabaisse, drawing us out with melodies that pair, contrast, and neutralize. Others exhale emotions through activity, such as staging a personal biathlon, climbing a mountain, or detailing their car (and every room in their house!).
The point is, there are many ways to let go of emotions that drain us. More than one method may work for you. How you do it (so long as it is not destructive to you or anyone else) is up to you — just make sure you find a means of release you are comfortable with and create a safe space to let go.
The twenty-four hour rule requires you to wave good-bye to the impact of a shitty experience, but it does not mandate denial of the experience itself. This is an important distinction. Bad experiences are like a big juicy peach that’s been dropped — remove the bruise and the remainder is a sweet feast. At a minimum, these experiences teach us something important about ourselves and often nourish transformational growth.
Following this process accomplishes several important things. First, you give yourself permission to acknowledge and, for a short time, embrace how you have been impacted by the event, experience, or incident. By not ignoring or denying these emotions, you allow yourself to move past them. Second, you consciously choose to cut ties with those emotions, allowing you to release the anchors of past experience and move forward with fresh eyes. Third, you have made a commitment to yourself, creating personal accountability that will help you maintain perspective and focus should trigger or temptation cause past discomfort to resurface.
The twenty-four hour rule does not apply in all situations. For certain, there are experiences in life that warrant far more time for processing, grieving, and recovering. In addition, one individual’s response to a given situation may differ greatly from another’s. It is therefore important to consider for yourself where the rule makes sense and, where it doesn’t, be gracious, generous, and patient with yourself.
